Posts tagged ‘{un}perfect people’

January 6, 2011

Just one of those {un} days…

The Hubs was gone for a few days recently {at the Passion conference in Atlanta working the booth for CURE} and got home late Tuesday night. Things without him went relatively well, but I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until he got home…and then we did something just DUMB. We started watching Inception at 12:30am. Yup. DUMB. Great movie, but if I was tired before, I was just plain stupid-tired Wednesday morning. And it continues today. Fortunately my hubby is the best–after I got up, got Monkey A ready for school and on the bus, then got Monkey M up/ready for school, dropped him off and came back home, I crashed. Hard. I slept from 9:45 until 1:30! The Hubs went to pick Monkey M up from school, fed him lunch and sat on the couch {catching a few Zs himself–he stayed up just as late as I did!} while M played and watched DVDs. He even took both kids to church with him that night for dinner and to have them hang out while he had band rehearsal/meeting. Is he awesome or what?!

Anyway…back to today. Even with my fabulous nap yesterday, I’m still tired. I’m a girl who requires a whole bunch of sleep. When I get tired a lot of {un}perfect things start to happen: I get irritable, become “Mean Mom”, yell way more than I ever want to, am totally {un}productive…and that’s just the emotional stuff! Physically I get a slowly-building tightness in my chest and difficulty breathing. The emotional part is disappointing, but these physical reactions are scary for me. I’ve had these breathing issues since junior high and I’ve had just about every respiratory test available run on me. I’ve not gotten any kind of definitive “diagnosis”, but from bits and pieces I’ve learned along the way I think that I get anxiety-related {and tiredness-related, but I suspect that one begets the other} asthma symptoms. The worst part of it is that once I realize this, it starts to freak me out, which just makes it worse, creating a very breathless cycle. It can last days and I have to consciously take steps to relax and de-stress {which, let’s face it, is tough to do with young kids!}. One time I ended up in the ER with a numb arm and face–mini anxiety attack. Fabulous.

I’m currently sitting here having to stop every few sentences to catch my breath. So…what to do? At times I think I need to revisit the anti-anxiety med conversation with my doctor, but is that really the answer? It might be a quick fix, but what’s the root cause? I’m not one of those people who thinks that you never need any kind of medical intervention–prayer can solve all your problems. But…what if I took my worries/anxieties/{un}perfections/tiredness/etc. to God every day? What if I took 1 Peter 5:7 {Cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you} and Matthew 6:34 {Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own} to heart? I know that part of giving it all over to Him includes being diligent to do the things that I know are right for my health–get enough sleep {but I love to stay up watching DVR and getting stuff done!}, eat right {I always seem to eat terribly when The Hubs gone–too much pizza and drive-thru}, and get my booty to the gym {not only am I being physically irresponsible, but I’m also being financially irresponsible when I let my membership go to waste}. My body is a temple and I know I need to care for it like it’s a temple and not a garbage can. I don’t know, sometimes I just get into these bad cycles where I eat junk, sit around and stay up too late doing nothing. And the more junk I eat and the more tired I get, the less energy I have to do anything about it! ARGH! Starting tonight I’m going to break the cycle. You heard it first here, folks. Tonight I will be in bed by 10:00 {believe it or not, that’s EARLY for me!} so that I have time to read and it won’t be super late when I turn my phone off {…because I read on my phone–Kindle for Droid. LOVE it!}. And {here goes…} I’m going to plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning. Will someone out there reading this please hold me accountable?? Ok, thanks.

And I know that even though I feel like my moods and energy levels are insignificant in the grand scheme, God cares! What a super cool notion!

Sorry this post has been so rambling…I started it at 5:45pm and, because of many varied interruptions, I’m just now finishing it, 3 hours later. Here’s hoping praying tomorrow is a more patient and anxiety-reduced day!

%d bloggers like this: