Just one of those {un} days…

The Hubs was gone for a few days recently {at the Passion conference in Atlanta working the booth for CURE} and got home late Tuesday night. Things without him went relatively well, but I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until he got home…and then we did something just DUMB. We started watching Inception at 12:30am. Yup. DUMB. Great movie, but if I was tired before, I was just plain stupid-tired Wednesday morning. And it continues today. Fortunately my hubby is the best–after I got up, got Monkey A ready for school and on the bus, then got Monkey M up/ready for school, dropped him off and came back home, I crashed. Hard. I slept from 9:45 until 1:30! The Hubs went to pick Monkey M up from school, fed him lunch and sat on the couch {catching a few Zs himself–he stayed up just as late as I did!} while M played and watched DVDs. He even took both kids to church with him that night for dinner and to have them hang out while he had band rehearsal/meeting. Is he awesome or what?!

Anyway…back to today. Even with my fabulous nap yesterday, I’m still tired. I’m a girl who requires a whole bunch of sleep. When I get tired a lot of {un}perfect things start to happen: I get irritable, become “Mean Mom”, yell way more than I ever want to, am totally {un}productive…and that’s just the emotional stuff! Physically I get a slowly-building tightness in my chest and difficulty breathing. The emotional part is disappointing, but these physical reactions are scary for me. I’ve had these breathing issues since junior high and I’ve had just about every respiratory test available run on me. I’ve not gotten any kind of definitive “diagnosis”, but from bits and pieces I’ve learned along the way I think that I get anxiety-related {and tiredness-related, but I suspect that one begets the other} asthma symptoms. The worst part of it is that once I realize this, it starts to freak me out, which just makes it worse, creating a very breathless cycle. It can last days and I have to consciously take steps to relax and de-stress {which, let’s face it, is tough to do with young kids!}. One time I ended up in the ER with a numb arm and face–mini anxiety attack. Fabulous.

I’m currently sitting here having to stop every few sentences to catch my breath. So…what to do? At times I think I need to revisit the anti-anxiety med conversation with my doctor, but is that really the answer? It might be a quick fix, but what’s the root cause? I’m not one of those people who thinks that you never need any kind of medical intervention–prayer can solve all your problems. But…what if I took my worries/anxieties/{un}perfections/tiredness/etc. to God every day? What if I took 1 Peter 5:7 {Cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you} and Matthew 6:34 {Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own} to heart? I know that part of giving it all over to Him includes being diligent to do the things that I know are right for my health–get enough sleep {but I love to stay up watching DVR and getting stuff done!}, eat right {I always seem to eat terribly when The Hubs gone–too much pizza and drive-thru}, and get my booty to the gym {not only am I being physically irresponsible, but I’m also being financially irresponsible when I let my membership go to waste}. My body is a temple and I know I need to care for it like it’s a temple and not a garbage can. I don’t know, sometimes I just get into these bad cycles where I eat junk, sit around and stay up too late doing nothing. And the more junk I eat and the more tired I get, the less energy I have to do anything about it! ARGH! Starting tonight I’m going to break the cycle. You heard it first here, folks. Tonight I will be in bed by 10:00 {believe it or not, that’s EARLY for me!} so that I have time to read and it won’t be super late when I turn my phone off {…because I read on my phone–Kindle for Droid. LOVE it!}. And {here goes…} I’m going to plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning. Will someone out there reading this please hold me accountable?? Ok, thanks.

And I know that even though I feel like my moods and energy levels are insignificant in the grand scheme, God cares! What a super cool notion!

Sorry this post has been so rambling…I started it at 5:45pm and, because of many varied interruptions, I’m just now finishing it, 3 hours later. Here’s hoping praying tomorrow is a more patient and anxiety-reduced day!

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3 Comments to “Just one of those {un} days…”

  1. I’ll hold you accountable Ab! Reading your blog sounds all too familiar for me. I’ve had anxiety forEVER, but never stopped to think it could be sleep (or lack of) related. Have fun at the gym! (Feel free to do a few crunches for me). I really like this one: Philippians 4:6,7. 6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Alright. . .25 minutes til “lights out”. GOOD Night.

  2. Abbs – same thing started happening to me a few years ago. I get heart palpitations and quickened breathing. I’ve had tests done a few times.. they all say its stress related. But it IS scary. The first time I had my kids with me and I was terrified they were going to watch me die. That’s how real it felt. Awful.
    Add this one to your list. 🙂
    Phil. 4:4-9
    Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
    Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

  3. How raw and and real. Thank you Abby so much for sharing! As your friend we all want to support you in being the
    “Best Abby” you can be! I don’t think everyone would have the courage to post your writings, but look at the lives you could have resolve to change! Good job!! Love to you!!

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